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SCIENCE FICTION/HORROR
I Was a Mangled Corpse in Their Minds (Trans Science Fiction Horror)
A concoction from the apothecary allowed me to see how I was perceived; what I saw was more than I’d bargained for
Tired of being humored by well-meaning people who grudgingly used my real pronouns and name, I went to the apothecary for a solution. How would I ever learn to pass as my true gender, if I couldn’t get genuine feedback on my appearance? I needed to know if each change I was making to my body was getting me closer to my goal to be seen as myself.
“I need to know how I’m truly perceived, so that I can work harder on communicating who I am to people. I need a magical potion allowing me to see myself through their eyes,” I told the old woman who answered the door.
Her obsidian eyes pierced through me, undressing me down to the bones. It was as if she could see everything I’d ever been, everything I was now, and everything I ever could be. She was measuring all of it, weighing my soul on the scales that were her own.
When she finally spoke, her slow words echoed, spoken quiet but sharp as shards of broken glass. In the music of her words was every voice that had ever existed using her vocal cords to deliver their message in perfect unison. I couldn’t say how I knew that she was a living embodiment of all of the spirits who had ever lived across history, that she had swallowed them all, and that they had allowed her to speak for them as their true voice. It was just a chill running up my spine that told me who she was.
“Are you sure you want to do that? It’s dangerous to see yourself through other’s eyes. It will teach you things about them that you can never unsee. Make no mistake; you will learn nothing about yourself through their perspective of you.”
I wish I had sat with her words longer, though I don’t know if it would have helped. Though I understood that it was wisdom collected from the distilled essence of countless spirits, my soul was still too young to understand her words fully. My pain blinded me to her wisdom.
“Yes, I’m sure. I need to know. If I can see how I’m perceived, I can change it. I can…
