LGBTQ+ Perspectives

I Give My Middle-Aged Trans Body Permission to Slow Down and Rest

It’s okay to take time to recharge on my terms

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I’m trying to dance every morning, even if only for thirty minutes. It feels especially important for my Testosterone-fueled body to get exercise. It’s much harder to access safe healthcare as a trans person, even before any new laws come to limit that access in the coming years, so I have to work hard to stay as healthy as possible.

I didn’t want to dance this morning. I didn’t even want to wake up. I was feeling so tired. I’ve been struggling with a combination of insomnia, stress, and some resulting burnout lately. In this frame of mind, I gave myself permission to dance very slowly, only doing what felt good. I practiced only the dance moves I enjoy most. I gave myself permission to never push into discomfort.

The result was the best dance workout I’ve had all week. It was the longest I’d managed to dance this week. It was also the most I’ve actually managed to be present and listen to my playlist of all the dopamine-soaked music that I’m holding onto for dear life right now.

It turns out that I really had to feel a fast song in my bones to hit those occasional accents at a slow pace. I had to listen carefully to find…