How I Coped When My Vulnerable Stories Went Unexpectedly Viral

Those 3 times I unwittingly participated in the #metoo movement and got skewered by random strangers from around the globe that all started arguing with each other about me

Photo by Logan Silkwood

CW: I included lightly edited versions of the 3 posts that went viral in this writing at Kitty Whitemore’s request. Blame her for this instigation, then follow her and read her great and more reasonably sized writings. They have since been changed to “friends only” under an anonymous social media penname that I used before on a platform that I’m not going to share here. They contain triggering language including sexual and physical violence (i.e. the “r” word). I don’t have access to most of the worst comments because I blocked what felt like half of the globe, deleting the words that hurt the most. Instead, I speak here about my emotions in response to what was said and the surprising catharsis that the trolls gave me. I then include, at the end, my less popular but much more satisfying love letter to trolls that I wrote in response to all of the comments that I received. Feel free to just skip to the clearly marked happy ending after the pretty tulip picture.

For a few years, while coping poorly with flashbacks and feeling desperate to get some relief, I made the possibly dubious decision to begin writing out my experiences and posting them anonymously on an adults-only website that allowed me to use some very explicit language with the assurance that no children would read my writing.

My timing wasn’t coincidental.

Like many in the #metoo movement, I was inundated with triggering language in the media that didn’t allow me space to breath. I couldn’t even turn on NPR radio without hearing the word “rape” within the first 30 seconds of my lunch break.

What I found interesting about this experience is that it wasn’t my most explicit or graphic writing that went viral, nor my most violent depictions of my experience. The most raw and painful of my writings were met with absolute silence, except from my wife and one or two close friends, who left sweet supportive messages for me. I learned from this that there’s a…